Whether you’re a natural or a newbie, lap dance is a great way to build intimacy and trust in your relationship. However, it’s important to prioritize communication and establish a safe word before exploring new sexual positions.
Start off slow by swaying your hips left and right, in time with the music.
1. It’s a tease
When a guy gets a lap dance, it’s usually because he wants sex. That’s why it is so important for the woman to set the scene right. She needs to create the right mood and atmosphere for the man to feel comfortable and safe.
For starters, she should choose a song that makes her feel confident and seductive. Then she should twirl and move in ways that make her happy. This will show the guy that she is enjoying herself and that she knows how to make him feel good.
If she wants to up the ante, she can start slowly taking off her clothes or doing a bit of dry humping. This can really get the guy hot and bothered and is a great way to tease him by making him guess what she will do next.
Another thing that can make a lap dance more fun for both parties is to use slow music. It is sexier and more sensual than fast music. It will also give the woman more time to perform her moves and make sure that they are perfect. Many women make the mistake of trying to go too fast and end up looking awkward. The last thing she wants is to look stupid in front of her partner. So slow it down and let her sway her hips to the beat.
2. It’s a seduction
If you’re nervous about lap dancing, the best way to get over it is to think of it as a seduction. Just like any other type of foreplay, it is a great way to turn your partner on and build anticipation. Plus, a well-executed dance can feel almost orgasmic.
To set the mood, choose music that makes you feel sexy. Try sultry r&b, slow and soulful classics, or even a bit of the Weeknd. Just make sure the songs are appropriate for your relationship status and that they suit your body type. Also, pick a comfortable chair or couch for your man to sit on while you dance around him.
Start your dance by standing a few feet away from him and swaying your hips left and right. Then, slowly move closer to him and try a few moves that might have him feeling a little bit kinky, such as circling the chair or dipping down and up. You might also want to try a pelvic tilt by thrusting your hips forward and back.
If you can master the art of lap dance, it can be a powerful way to ignite your passions and get your sex life back on track. Just be sure to practice and save it for a special occasion, like his birthday, holiday, or your anniversary.
3. It’s a game
If you’re a little shy or inexperienced, a lap dance can be a great way to get your confidence up and gain some powerful erotic power. Lap dancing isn’t something you do every day, but it’s a seductive gift that can be saved for special occasions like dates or romantic events. It also works as excellent foreplay when you’re trying to turn your man on before you have sex. Just be careful not to give him too many clues about what you’re planning for the night; a hint or two is enough to heighten his sexual anticipation.
If he’s a gentleman, he will be respectful during the lap dance and will never try to touch you inappropriately or ask for too much. He might want to hump you during the dance or touch your legs or thigh a bit, but you should always let him know what’s appropriate. It’s also important not to squirm during the dance because it can make him uncomfortable and nervous.
If you’re really teasing him, you can slowly start taking off parts of your outfit. It’s best to do this a few minutes at a time and never take your eyes off his. This will make him crave actually having you sitting on his lap even more and will cause him to feel arousal as he watches your body move seductively to the beat of a sexy song.
4. It’s fun
Whether you’re giving your lover lap dance for foreplay or as the finale to your date night, it’s important to keep it fun. Remember to use a few simple tricks to make your performance even more seductive.
First, pick a song that makes you feel sexy. “If you’re nervous, having a glass of wine beforehand can help ease your nerves,” says Grate, who recommends keeping it to half a glass (a drunk lap dance is not cute). Then, dress in your most flattering and sexy outfit. “For example, a bodysuit and miniskirt can be a great choice for a lap dance, as they give you plenty of options to tease out,” she says.
For a truly sexy performance, practice your moves before you take the stage. Grate recommends doing things like practicing body rolls, figure eights, and swiveling on your chair to elicit maximum pleasure from your partner. “You also might want to try out some sexy body contact, such as reaching around their neck and kissing them,” she says.
Finally, don’t forget to ask your partner for what they’re into. “It’s a good idea to let them know if they prefer slow, sexy, or wild,” says Grate. “They’ll want you to meet their needs.” But, she adds, be careful not to ask for anything that’s too crazy. Some men become irate and angry when their requests are denied, especially when they’re under the influence of alcohol.